to done

From 2001-2017, I used a daytimer in a small binder to organize and document my life.  One year, I tried to replace the system with a simpler and prettier journal but went back to a daytimer after a month of feeling shakily unstructured.  I like lists.  I like to plan.  I like to schedule my days, my weeks, my months.  In later years, I used the daytimer (two-pages-a-day) to track more and more details: the to-do list, schedule, notes, $ spent, journaling.

After I moved home last year, the daily to-do list in the daytimer grew longer and longer.  I could become even more efficient in retirement!  There were all the things for my health, maintenance for the tiny house, tasks on the farmhouse and property, plus all the regular things like bills, correspondence, change of address tasks, car maintenance, shopping, etc. etc. etc.

At the end of the day, more tasks were left unchecked than checked.  The more I ramped up the list, the more reactive I became—I didn’t step back to see if I was focusing on the right things.  With an impossible daily to-do list, I maintained the level of stress I’d grown used to being employed.

In early December, I shouted FUCK THE TO-DO LIST!

For 2018, I bought a simple journal to write down appointments and events and to see what would happen if I just let my daily to-do list fixation … go.

And that’s what I’ve been doing for eight months now.  I have a master list on a notepad so I don’t lose track of items and I try to organize my weeks loosely, but there are no more long daily lists.  In SLSR, the most important thing is my health—taking a walk, making three healthy meals, meditating—other things, including the to-do list items, need to fit in around that.

I had to stop expecting to do so much.  I go easy on myself.  I don’t care what other people think.  I feel less guilty.  I worry less.

HOWEVER, I’m still challenged by procrastinating with important items.  Procrastination, and the related guilt and suffering, are part of my storyline (for years my dream has been to solve the problem by hiring a Personal Assistant).  It’s an entrenched lazy old habit that did not diminish a bit with retirement.  Staying busy with the ridiculous to-do list was a distraction.  But can I get important things done without delay and remain unbusy?  Procrastination is the habit I most aspire to transform.

References and related links:

• SLSR: simpler living semi-retirement.
• here (post #88)
• january RX: more fun (post #85)