superpower

The long legs were just a stage of childhood.  I capped out at 5 feet 3.5 inches with sturdy calves.

So why the mudra?  A friend had a yoga book* specifically for children and the poses and the book looked cool.  I coveted that book.  I thought a lot about that book.  I NEEDED that book.  If she was going to get superpowers, I wanted them too.  So I bought the book with my own $.  Months later when I saw the friend (we lived in different towns), I proudly told her I had my own copy.  After some confusion, she told me that it had just been a library book she’d borrowed.  I was stunned.  The shine on the book dimmed.

Despite the jealous energy behind the purchase of the book, I went on to use it a lot during my childhood.  I have it to thank for piquing my interest in yoga, a practise I’ve returned to off and on as an adult since the 1990’s.  This summer, I’ve been enjoying gentle yoga in a relaxed class in a nearby community.

Since moving home last year, I’m using the library more and borrowing fiction books from friends.  With non-fiction, I still spin off on tangents, starting a book before finishing the previous one, as if I’m reading on the Internet.  And that feeling of NEED for a specific non-fiction book—usually in Buddhism, Yoga, Psychology or Health—is still something I feel often, hold in check, and examine.  Although I know better, the desire is often tied in with anticipation that this book could be life-changing.  No?  OK this one.

I’ve purchased few books on Buddhism, Yoga, or meditation in the past three years because my shelves contain books that I haven’t read yet or haven’t finished reading.  I planned to get through those before borrowing or buying more but, when I pick them up, I’m not inspired to get past the first chapter.  Last month when I looked at my shelves, I realized part of the problem and how rigidly sticking with my sensible minimizing plan was just adding to the frustration.  Like the Buddhism section at the bookstore or library, I have a disproportionately small number of books by women teachers (and I’ve read and reread them).  I felt disappointed with myself.

I want to hear different voices.  I want to explore topics that will make me stretch.  I lifted the purchase ban.  When it fits in the monthly budget, I can cast a vote with my $ for an author I purposefully want to support, starting with recent releases by women teachers.

*The book was by Kareen Zebroff who published multiple books on yoga and had a TV show in Canada in the 1970’s.

Recommended and related links:

• with a little help from my friends on Karen Maezen Miller’s blog Cheerio Road
• (re)learning how to read (BITNF post #15)