one year later: missed (part 1)

It’s been a year since I left Washington State and moved back home to Nova Scotia. So do I miss it?

I get asked what I miss most about living out west. My response has been a platitude: I miss people (friends), not the place. I’ve recently realized the answer is more complicated.

Sometimes I see a snow-topped mountain in the distance but it is only clouds, of course. Then I miss the Cascade and the Olympic ranges. Then I miss being startled every time Mount Rainier came into view.

I have memories about the place that sometimes make me feel like I’m missing something. But it’s what the place represents of that time in my life, a place where: I finally shed an addictive need to be part of a couple, I got my driver’s license at the age of 42, I had a crazy-good job, I rediscovered my love of hiking, I made wonderful friends, I tried new adventures on my own, I took exciting vacations, I had a healthy romance, I bought a condo, I shared the entire 11 years with my two cats.

Other than the individuals who remain close friends, that list isn’t really about the place—that’s just where I was living when I experienced all those good things. Visiting Whole Foods and REI while I was in Atlanta in May warmed my heart not because I missed spending $ at those stores—but because it touched on those memories about living out west. And other than visiting friends and hiking favoUrite trails, I can’t go back there for any of those other things.

Missing the moderate winter temperatures is a given.

I also get asked when I’m going to adopt another cat. I said goodbye to Toffus a year ago, days before leaving WA, and to Greta almost 6 months later. If I was still living in my condo after both the cats had passed on, I would miss them terribly because we had lived there together. Toffus was an excellent welcome-home greeter and I can’t imagine walking into the condo without him running down the hall to meet me. And although Greta was here in the tiny house with me, it was for only four months. Remembering the stress of Greta and Toffus’ health issues and final months stays with me. I know another cat will find its way to me eventually but I still don’t feel like I’m missing one yet.

The ginger cat who lives next door to MAC in Atlanta reminded me a lot of Toffus. He visits MAC frequently as part of his daily routine. On May 19th, I was sitting in MAC’s lovely porch and that bon-vivant of a cat jumped into my lap for the first time and lay down for a nap. It was the one-year anniversary of Toffus’ passing.  I like to think he knew.

References and related links:

• Washington State’s three National Parks are all about the beautiful mountains: North Cascades, Olympic, and Mount Rainier.
• REI: Recreational Equipment, Inc.
• MAC: Mon Amie Caroline.
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