One day at the big corporation, my amiable manager was discussing a new request with me and suddenly looked concerned and asked if I had issues with the task. I realized the problem was my body language: I had just returned from a dental appointment, my mouth was still partially anesthetized, and I COULD NOT SMILE. I quickly explained, he laughed, and we got back on track.
Last winter, I asked myself how I could possibly be less happy now that I’m retired. I wasn’t emotionally unhappy. But I somehow felt physically less happy. It was puzzling. I’ve recently figured it out.
In the last two years since I retired and moved home, I SMILE A LOT LESS. My previous daily prompts for smiling are gone. I smiled at work five days a week. This was not the forced smile I’d previously used when working with the public in restaurants—I sincerely liked my colleagues and my default was to smile when I saw or spoke to them. On weekends, I kept smiling hanging out or having outdoor adventures with friends (and when I was dating MF, I always felt like I had an irrepressible goofy grin).
But the biggest influence on my daily smile frequency is not having a cat at home. After work, I would be smiling and talking to Greta and Toffus from the minute they greeted me at the door. I was reminded of this while catsitting in March—my face stretched into a big smile for most of the week as I talked, sang, and danced for those cats.
In junior high (middle school), a teacher guessed I was responsible for causing a small disturbance in class and told me “you’re smiling too loud.” My default for most of the day now is a neutral face and it feels strange for me. I still smile and laugh when I’m with family and friends, of course, but the frequency is much much less than when I was working and lived with the cats. So, it turns out, I really am not less happy now. My face just feels like it.
References and related links:
- MF: manfriend referred to during first year of this blog (and who was very supportive in getting this blog started in 2014).
- spring (post #112)
Neil says
Interesting. Hadn’t thought of it but; maybe smiling is a public thing. Can we smile inside without smiling outside ? Vice versa is often true, We can chuckle to ourselves about something or smile about something we read.
back is the new forward says
I frequently laugh at myself out loud : – )
Juan says
Your easy smile and open and honest laugh were some of your best trademarks. I remember them clearly and often..
J
back is the new forward says
Aww, thank you for these kind words – it’s so good to hear from you! Un grande abrazo, S